Fix Up My Heart and Use Me O God

The Lord has been relentlessly laying Psalm 51 on my heart each day for weeks. First, He was guiding me to read it each day. Then, He brought other people to me sharing wisdom from the beautiful Psalm. And, then finally I began meditating on it and thinking about it in my own words…something I love to do with Psalms. I love the simplicity and rawness of this Psalm. David is so honest and vulnerable about his sin and  his need for God. I also love how the Lord takes our confessions, cleans us up, and then uses us to love and teach others.

I am so sorry for turning away from you, God.

Please forgive me by your great mercy and love.

Clear away all my sin and ugliness.

Wash away my wickedness.

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For I know my sin is evident, and the worst is that I have sinned against you, Lord, and gone against your commands.

I was sinful from my first breath, born of sinful parents.

Certainly you want faithfulness for me — deep down in my heart.

You enable me to understand what is truly wise.

Grant me a supernatural cleansing from the inside out so that I am as pure as new fresh snow.

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Let my heart receive your joy,

Let the weight of my sin give way to your forgiveness.

Turn your face from my sins and look on me in your grace and mercy.

Out of nothing, make my heart pure, O God, and renew a faithful spirit in me.

Do not separate me from you or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Revive me with the joy of your salvation and give me a humble spirit to carry me.

Then I will be able to help teach other sinners about you and they will turn back to you.

Save me from my punishment, O God, the God who saves me.

I will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my mouth and your praise will flow out.

You do not desire for me to bring you an earthly, material sacrifice.

The sacrifices you desire from me are a broken, humble spirit and a remorseful heart.

O God, You will delight.

In spite of my failures, have mercy on my family and bless them.

Provide a hedge of protection around my family, keeping evil out.

We will let you in to humble hearts and offer you endless praise.

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Formula for Courage

image of the cross mexicoInspired by Psalm 28. Thank you, David, for sharing your heart!

I praise you, Lord.

I tell of your goodness and power.

I speak words of love and adoration aloud.

I bring to You my needs.

I petition You and You lean in to hear me.

You hear me and You strengthen me.

You empower me and You protect me.

Trust wells up in my heart and praise breaks forth from my mouth.

I gladly sing of your goodness.

Blessed be the Lord,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.

Psalm 28:6-7

Looking Up

I am downcast when I look to myself

I am lost when I look to myself

I am defeated when I look to myself

Oh, but when I look to You…

You are my Shepherd

You are my Maker

You are my Truth

When I look down, I see myself

I see my faults, my needs, my weakness, my inabilities

I look to the sky

I need to tilt my head, my gaze, my mind upward toward the heavens

The treetops, the clouds, the sky all remind me of You

My Shepherd, my fulfilling Creator, my Sovereign Truth

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Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3

A Perfect Heart

When I seek mercy and justice

When I offer mercy and justice

When I receive Your mercy and justice

My heart is renewed

My heart is cleansed

My heart is healed

When I seek Your way

When I offer Your love

When I receive Your Spirit

I behave as a woman following You

I love as a whole person

I give from a complete vessel

When you come to me, oh Lord

When you walk with me, oh Lord

When your Spirit fills me, oh Lord

I am set free

I am made alive

I will walk with a perfect heart

I will sing of mercy and justice; to you, oh Lord, I will sing praises. I will behave wisely in a perfect way. Oh, when will you come to me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Psalm 101:1-2

Sleep in Peace

I absolutely can not get enough of Psalms right now. The Lord is leading me through each one, verse by verse, revealing more of His heart with each line I dissect.

Here is the understanding the Holy Spirit revealed to me from my study this week from Psalm 4.

Hear me when I call, My Holy God. Deliver me from my trouble; be gracious to me as you hear my prayer.

How long, you people who oppose God, will you turn my honor from God into shame? How long will you love that which is hopeless?

Be assured of the truth that the Lord has chosen for Himself the ones who follow after His heart; when I pray, the Lord hears and delivers. 

Admit that you are angry but do not rebel. Calmly and deeply consider these things when you lie down and do not continue in your rage.

Offer God obedience and praise and place your confidence in Him.

Many are doubtful or are seeking earthly pleasures. But your Gracious Love is truly what we need, O Lord.

You have given me joy and deep contentment, which do not change with circumstances.

I will rest securely on your promises. You alone, O Lord, are sufficient to keep me safe.

In the Psalms I find trust, praise, rejoicing, and unfailing love.

When I lay awake at night with racing thoughts, I find I am in need of trust, praise, rejoicing, and unfailing love.

The soft whir of the fan. The neighbor’s light tinging wind chime. The cat’s footsteps out in the hall. The deep sound of slumber from my husband. None of the night noises were enough to explain my inability to sleep.

But the constant barrage of thoughts could explain my insomnia. Replaying situations. Thinking about upcoming events. Rehearsing necessary conversations.

God’s loving nudge tugged at my heart and my Psalm 4 study time flashed in my mind: I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4: 8. 

I sense the questions coming, “What have I called you to? What have I placed under your care?”

My response? Okay let’s see.

I have two beautiful daughters whom God blessed me with. Sleeping.

There’s the sweet husband the Lord has given me to encourage and help. Sleeping.

There are children in Sunday school and others at our co-op who God has so graciously called me to teach. Sleeping (at least for their parent’s sake, I hope they are!)

There are ministries in which the Lord has both called and equipped me. All currently at rest. 

The Bible clearly states that we each have a calling. And God wants our faith to be active not lazy or hidden. But, He also has appointed times and seasons for us.

Lying in bed at night, He has called me to do none other than rest. Rest in His safety. Rest in His love. Calmly consider Him and TRUST, PRAISE, REJOICE, and mediate on His UNFAILING LOVE.

Thank you, Lord, for rest, sweet rest. You have called me to no more and no less than my particular calling from You. Thank you that I can rest securely on your promises. Amen. 

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He Who Dwells

Studying and personalizing Psalms is becoming a personal favorite for me during my quiet time. Taking each Psalm slowly, meditating on the words, studying their meanings, and then responding is filling my soul with goodness.

Isn’t that what a loving relationship entails…really listening and then responding? The Lord first loved us. 1 John 4:19 reminds us of that truth, We love Him because He first loved us. We have a choice to respond. When I read the Psalms, I feel an urge to respond to the Lord.

This past week, I studied Psalm 91 and then responded by putting the words into my own and personalizing it as if it is between me and the Lord.

Psalm 91:

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

My response:

I stay in the protection beneath God and find refreshing relief in my position under the All-Powerful God.

I will tell others about God, “He is my protection and place of security; He is my God in whom I rely.”

Without doubt, God will save me from the traps of the devil and from deadly evil.

As a bird protects its young, God will cover me and be my shelter; He will keep His promises and be my protection and defense.

Day and night, I have nothing to fear. The evil in the dark and the destruction during the day will not bring fear.

I will only see the effect of the trouble that passes  by me. I will not suffer the punishment the wicked suffer.

I will be protected if I rest under the Almighty God, and yes, I do rest under Him – death will not come to me or my family.

He sends his angels as a bodyguard for the faithful. His angels will carry me so that I can avoid even small evils.

I will march victoriously over opponents, even over the most powerful evil.

Because I am bound to Him and cling to Him, He will rescue me. When I call to Him for help, He will answer me and rescue me and provide satisfaction and…

ETERNAL LIFE. 

Amen.

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Remedy for Anxiety

Hurricanes, threats of attack, environmental disasters, fatal accidents, higher taxes, overpopulation, traffic, violence, hatred, racism, disease…these words flash at me when scrolling my local news app on my phone. Heart rate quickens, breathing becomes shallow, mind races.

Rather than continuing the pursuit of the local news, I turn to God’s Word for a remedy for anxiety. An answer to the unrest all around. Peace in the turmoil.

Studying Psalm 23 this week, led me to realize this is a passage of scripture that I have known for a long time. It was the only scripture I memorized as a kid at vacation Bible school. The words have always drawn me in and painted a beautiful picture in my mind.

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But, this week, the Lord brought greater understanding through slowing down, verse by verse and allowing His Spirit to unlock the words for me.

Each day this week, I took one verse of Psalm 23 and journaled about what the Lord was saying to me through His words.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Psalm 23

And, Psalm 23 in my own words:

God is my loving guide; I am in need of nothing more.

He provides what I need to be fed; He guides me to quiet rest.

The Lord brings back to order my life; He guides me in the right way I should go because of His name.

Even though I go through low times even close to death, I will not be afraid, because you train me, support me, and bring encouragement to me.

You bring peace and nourishment to me even when those who despise me are near; You fill and empower me each day; I am content in You.

Without fail the Lord’s favor will pursue me every day of my life; And I will live in heaven with the Lord forever.

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