What I Learned in September

Psalm 25:4-5, Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

Sept Path

Here we are wrapping up September. This is year 3 of homeschooling for our family and it’s been the smoothest transition thus far. I attribute it to several things. One being that we continued some schoolwork all summer, but never missed anything fun that came up. Two being that it’s year 3 and in my experience year 3 is like a magic year. When I was a public school teacher, I found that year 3 of teaching the same grade level or same curriculum really finally came together for me. And, three, many of the changes we have made to handling discipline in our family, have brought about greater peace for us all. Amen to all of the above!

My Reading this Past Month

  • Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio
  • When Parenting Isn’t Perfect by Jim Daly
  • Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard (I try to read this once a year!)

Our Reading this Past Month

  • The Borrowers by Mary Norton
  • What to do When It’s Not Fair by Jacqueline Toner
  • What to do When Mistakes Make You Quake by Jacqueline Toner
  • Story of the World Volume 1 by Susan Wise Bauer

Back to school 2017

1-2-3 Magic (123 Magic)

A very wise counselor shared with me the idea of utilizing the 1-2-3 Magic approach for stopping negative behaviors in my children. Think of any lower level behavior you want to stop: arguing, whining, badgering, and complaining, etc. There are many short youtube videos you can watch to learn more about this approach.

Here is how we are using it and finding it successful in our family:

First I set up the plan with the kids. I explained to the kids that we have been allowing behaviors such as arguing and complaining to ruin perfectly good days for us. We want to deal with the behaviors in a quicker way so that we can get back toward whatever God has called us to for that day. I told them that if they argue (complain, whine, badger), I will say, “That’s 1” and hold up 1 finger. They have a choice to make. Stop or continue. If they continue, I will say, “That’s 2” and hold up 2 fingers. If they choose to continue, I will say, “That’s 3” hold up 3 fingers and say (as unemotionally as possible), “It’s time for a break.” I will designate a spot for a break and tell them I will let them know when break is over (5-10) minutes.

After the first explanation of this plan, one little darling almost immediately thought she would test it out! Okay, here we go! Help me, Lord!

Darling child, “Can I have a snack?”

Mom, “No, it’s 30 minutes until dinner.”

Sweet, darling child, “But, I am HUNGRY. I haven’t eaten for 10 minutes! Why can’t I have a snack?”

Mom, “It’s 30 minutes until dinner. And, that’s 1,” holding up 1 finger.

Dear, sweet, darling child, “But, I am so hungry! Why can’t you tell me why?”

Mom, “That’s 2,” holding up 2 fingers.

Lovely, dear, sweet, darling, child, “Oh great! So you can’t even tell me why!? I just want a snack!”

Mom, “That’s 3, time for a break. Please go sit on the stairs. I will tell you when break is over.”

Precious, lovely, dear, sweet, darling, child, “Why did you have to talk to that counselor!” stomping off to the stairs.

I am not worrying about the behavior on the way to the stairs because my goal is to quickly and unemotionally stop the badgering and to reset. We are doing that by taking a break.

I set a timer for 10 minutes and then call to the child, “Break is over.” I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the child returned in a pleasant mood, ready to find something to do until dinner.

Flash forward to the next morning. Darling child, “Can I make pancakes for breakfast?”

Mom, “That sounds good, but we have to leave in one hour so there just isn’t time today.”

Sweet, darling child, “But, why can’t I make pancakes?”

Mom, “We are leaving soon. And, that’s 1,” holding up 1 finger

Child sulks off grumbling something under her breath, all the while developing self-control.  We move on with our day.

For more serious infractions such as physically hurting someone, damaging property, or aggression, you go straight to 3 and the child takes a break. Usually a more serious infraction also involves some sort of restitution in our house…fixing what they broke, mending the relationship, doing something physical to get the aggressive behavior out appropriately.

Be Your Own Health Advocate

At age 25, when I first became ill with an ultra rare disease, aHUS (atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome), doctors had little idea of what was going on or what to do about it. And, I didn’t know that when a doctor said, “Let’s try XYZ to treat you,” I should say, “Why? Explain this to me.”

I didn’t realize the doctor was not my boss. The doctor is not all-knowing. And my life is not in the doctor’s hands.

In a healthy patient/doctor relationship, the patient is free to ask questions, seek clarification, share about their own research, and discuss concerns. If a doctor does not accept this from you as the patient, you should strongly consider finding a different doctor.

I have had a few wonderful doctors over the years. Besides accepting questions and thoroughly listening to me, the wonderful ones are those that admit when they don’t know something and then they seek to learn.

What about you? What did you learn this month? Is that a tough question to answer? Don’t worry! God has an answer for that. James, 1:5 says, If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Need wisdom? Need to learn something? Need to see a breakthrough in a certain situation in your life? Need greater understanding?

ASK GOD, the one who gives it to you liberally!

 

 

Awareness

September 24th may or may not hold meaning for you. For me, it signifies a day of awareness. A day or remembering the 12 years of my life with no definitive diagnosis for the cause of my failing kidneys, high blood pressure, low energy, and strange seemingly unexplainable clotting problems.

September 24th is aHUS Awareness Day. aHUS stands for atypical Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome. It is a disease where small blood clots form in tiny blood vessels throughout the body.

aHUS awareness 2017

I became ill  in 2001. Because aHUS is an ultra rare disease, meaning in the United States, fewer than 200,000 people are affected, it was very difficult for me to receive a diagnosis.

Finally around 2013, I received proper testing and thus a definitive diagnosis of aHUS was made. About 2 years after that, I began receiving the life saving treatment (not cure), Soliris, as a bi-weekly infusion.

Last week, I was fortunate enough to attend my first conference through the a HUS Foundation. It was a wonderful time of connecting with other patients and their families, learning about the disease and treatment from an experienced doctor, sharing stories of hope, and encouraging one another. My prayer was that God would use me to encourage even just one other person and that I would learn something new.

God didn’t waste any time at all…He never does! The very first family we met at the conference was a lovely family of a little 4 year old boy who had been diagnosed at 9 months of age. Simply introducing myself as the patient and mentioning that I first became ill back in 2001 was enough to cause their jaws to drop and say without filter, “And you are still here! Wow!” There you go, God, encouraging even just one person!

Many inquired about why I had never been to a conference before. With how much I enjoyed the conference, sitting amongst those who understand my life with aHUS, I had to really think…why had I never attended a conference before?

A big reason was probably all of the years of not knowing for sure whether or not I had aHUS. Why pursue learning about a disease I may not have?

Another reason was I imagined the conference being sad and depressing. I imagined sitting around listening to sad stories of suffering from people stuck in this disease. What I found was the opposite. I saw life! Children living their lives as children with aHUS: playing, laughing, learning, growing. Adults with families and careers living their lives as warriors. Family members spreading the word about diagnosis and treatment, learning all they can, fundraising, raising awareness.

Fullerton conference

As a group, we even attended Disneyland, the happiest place on earth! All of us connected by the same disease, laughing, enjoying our lives!

Awareness provides answers, diagnosis, and treatment. Take a minute to check out the aHUS Foundation website: aHUS Foundation

Here is a link to my story which I shared on Facebook: Facebook Live

Thank you for reading my story!

In Discouragement, Consider Him

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1-3

Every two weeks, I go through the same routine. Get up early. Wake up my youngest daughter. Pack a bag with some snacks and water. Load up some school work and something fun for Abby to do after completing school work. Head to an infusion center a few miles from my house to receive a life-saving medication, which is providing more dialysis-free/kidney transplant-free time for me. More about my life with aHUS here,  here and here.

Today was the day. Discouragement flooded in. Maybe it was because it was Wednesday and my usual Tuesday routine was disrupted due to a conflict at the infusion center. Maybe it was the sun beckoning me to be outside. Maybe it was my daughter’s groans expressing her complaints about getting up early with me. Maybe it was the bruise on my forearm from the previous IV. Or, maybe it was just the enemy’s tactic that morning to pull me down.

IV pic

What I know is that discouragement gets me to focus on none other than me. I am inward focused, thinking about, meditating on, and dwelling on my circumstances. Discouragement gets me stuck in my expectations and hopes and how things might have been. Discouragement leaves me thinking things like, “I don’t deserve this”.

But, the final sentence in the Hebrews passage above is verse 3 in which Paul instructs us to, “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart“.

Consider: to think carefully about, regard with respect, pay attention to.

Paul in essence says, “Stop thinking about what is trapping you in sin. Keep running your race. Think about Jesus.”

Messages such as Hebrews 12: 1-3, always had me thinking something to myself along the lines of “think about Jesus and the torture and death He endured. Lisa, you can endure another needle poke, another day of fatigue, more trials, etc.”

I think there is some merit to that, comparing our circumstances to others who have gone through worse or are currently in a deep struggle.  When discouragement entrapped me today, something that helped in taking my eyes off myself was just that.

I remembered the patients in Australia who have a petition going to attempt to allow them to receive the medication I so easily receive. I remembered the friend fighting cancer with little strength to take care of her family. I saw the homeless couple in the parking lot rearranging their life’s belongings in their car. I focused on the friend with 3 foster children, pouring out her heart each day so the children can find healing. I thought about the lost, having no knowledge of the Loving Father they could find refuge in.

But, I am beginning to see the Hebrews passages in a different light. Rather than only comparing my suffering to Jesus’ suffering, I am beginning to see the magnitude of who He is.

The suffering He endured was for me.

The suffering He endured was necessary.

The suffering He endured met the requirement.

Jesus is better.

If you don’t know, dear one, Jesus is better. He is good. He is to be trusted. He is above all. He holds it all together. When you are in the midst of your trial, you must remember. You must consider. Jesus is better.

sunset cross

 

Heal

WordPress Daily Post Heal (one word prompt)

To heal. To fill in the holes. To cleanse the wounds. To dry the tears. To mend the break.

The Lord takes the weak, the needy and the broken and He heals.

He brings Clarity to situations that were once chaos.

He brings Wholeness to places that were just pieces.

He brings Wisdom to minds that were just confusion.

The Lord still heals.

I know this because each day

He is filling me,

mending me,

cleansing me,

Healing me.

img_8335

 

 

What I Learned in March

Psalm 25:4-5, Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

IMG_0184

Last month, I decided to begin summarizing my monthly learning. It’s almost like I am testing myself to see what learning took place and how the Lord led me. Maybe something will resonate with you. Or, maybe you will share your learning with me in the comments. In my learning, you may read spiritual lessons, cooking tips, homeschooling tips… you just never know. Feel free to share your learning in any area below.

This month I learned:

The power in setting a timer: I set a timer for Talk Time with my kids. And it works for exercise, keeping track of how long I’m exercising. Why not try it in other areas of my life? This month I began setting a timer for 5 minutes to simply be in the presence of God. Not talking, praying, or reading. But just being with God. It’s such a beautiful, sacred time. The timer helps keep me on track and also keeps me from talking myself out of it with such ridiculousness as, “I don’t have time.”

Juicing lesson: Beets taste earthy and sweet when juiced. And they make my juice a beautiful, vibrant, bright color!

Beet juice

Listening to my children can solve so much: Much of my reading this month has been focused on parenting. The Lord has revealed to me that I have not been listening to my children and it’s time to make it a priority. At first, I thought, “No, no, Lord. You have this all wrong. My children, they talk all the time. I homeschool them. We are together all the time. Lord, I listen to them.” Until I started focusing on verses such as, Proverbs 18:13, To answer before listening— that is folly and shame. And, Proverbs 1:5, let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.  And, reading books such as The Explosive Child, Parenting Your Spirited Child and Sibling Rivalry, and I realized I wasn’t really listening to them. I was allowing them to talk just long enough and then rushing to a solution that would work for me. In my listening to my children, I have discovered:

They are able to solve problems collaboratively with a little coaching.

When I repeat what I hear them say, they diffuse quite quickly.

When I acknowledge their frustration, even when it’s about their sibling, they don’t become more frustrated and actually act less negative toward their sister.

They notice I smile more now! My oldest daughter had to change my icon on our Wii, “because you smile more now, mom.” Praise God! And, I am so thankful I heard her say that!

Sometimes rather than teaching manners it helps to work on listening to your child. The healing that can come results in greater respect from your child and thus genuine manners. A heartfelt, “thank you”, goes so much further than a taught, “thank you”. 

Riding a bike really is just like a riding bike:

My husband and I had a rare afternoon all to ourselves and it wasn’t raining! On a whim, we decided to get our cobwebbed covered bikes down from their hanging spot in our garage, pump up the old tires, and head out for a 15 mile bike ride. “I hope my bike doesn’t disintegrate underneath me!” I declared as we headed out of our neighborhood. Riding a bike, feeling the wind blow against our faces, and breathing in the fresh air, made us feel like little kids again. I highly recommend going out for a bike ride as soon as possible! And, don’t worry, you haven’t forgotten how to ride a bike!

IMG_0181

One on one time with each child during homeschooling is invaluable:

One of my children explained their desire to spend one on one learning time with me, just as I spend time with the students I tutor. This particular child had been struggling emotionally, so I was ready for a change. We loaded our arms with school books, pencils, and notebooks, and headed for the quiet of her room. Again, we set a timer. We would spend one hour just the two of us plugging away at her school work. Sometimes I was just there. Other times, we woud pray together. And, still other times, we had discussions about her work. Still considering myself new to homeschooling (Overcoming School) (this is year 2 for us), I am still relaxing and learning how to teach without creating a classroom feel. It’s tough. But, the fruit came when my daughter, often agitated during school work, was pleasant and engaged all throughout the morning.

Now, it’s your turn. I would love to hear what you are learning. Please take a minute and share with me in the comments below.

Tough Question

“Let me ask you”, she said, “What are you willing to do?”

It’s a tough question isn’t it? When my husband went to a new doctor and shared his desire to naturally treat his type 2 diabetes and get off his medications, the doctor listened and paused for a minute, looked him straight in the eye and asked the tough question, “What are you willing to do?” After a bit, she explained that many patients come to her seeking greater health, but when it comes down to it, they desire a prescription that will take the work out of their hands and become the pill’s job.

prescription-drugsI am living proof that often times, medication is necessary (kidney disease story), but there are times when we seek an easy answer to a problem in which we really just need to apply some prayer,  effort, and discipline.

The doctor went on to explain to my husband that she has treated patients with type 2 diabetes that have gone off their medications and she has treated some that have remained on medication. In his case, the choice was really his.

The suggested plan:

  • Remove all foods causing him irritations such as gluten and dairy.
  • In addition to his regular walking regimen for exercise, add 3 thirty minute intensive strength training sessions week.
  • Take chromium daily.
  • Check his blood sugar daily.
  • Add more vegetables.

vegetables-large

Being the responsible adult that he is, Jeff immediately bought chromium and began taking it. He googled exercise plans and implemented the new ideas the following day. Not completely excited about adding more vegetables, he started thinking about easy, palatable vegetables he could bring in his lunch each day.

Approximately, 2 months later, he returned to the doctor, where she checked his A1C, which is a blood sugar reading showing his 3 month average glucose level. Both Jeff and the doctor were pleasantly surprised that his blood sugar was now in the pre-diabetic range!

No magic pill brought on this improvement. No overnight cure. No easy answer. Prayer. Seeking wisdom. Listening to the doctor. Following her directions. No staying in the comfort zone.

That’s the question isn’t it? Are we willing to become uncomfortable? Will we actually make the changes needed to see results. Are we willing to live like no one else is living?

It’s easy and it’s tempting to avoid the tough questions. To just keep living a comfortable life. But, the comfortable life that promises happiness often leads to sickness, destruction, sin, and ultimately death.

I think about Matthew chapter 14, when the disciples see Jesus walking on water. Peter must have been more comfortable in the safety of the boat. But Jesus said, “Come”. Peter, in faith, walked out to meet Jesus on the water. He left the comfort of the boat and stepped out onto the waves. Peter could have chosen the comfortable route. The way that seemed to make the most sense. But, instead he stepped out.

With prayer, effort, and discipline we can also step out.

What are you willing to do?