Confession

Blogging is a new experience for me. My friend, Jen from, Rich Faith Rising, helped me get started by sharing her blogging experience with me. I love the way she checks in with me to see how I am doing now that I have actually started.

“How’s it going?” she asks with much enthusiasm in her voice and eyes.

“It’s really going well. It’s almost addicting. I love sharing what God is doing in my life. It feels like worship!”

“Yes!” she exclaims. “Isn’t it healing?”

I don’t remember how I responded to her question, because my mind immediately went into meditate mode…healing, yes, it is healing. Putting into writing what God is doing in my life, magnifies His work and allows His healing to flood my heart. Telling about my failures and His triumphs to anyone who is willing to read my posts is allowing His light to shine brighter.

High Life

Paul writes about this healing in Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5:8-13, For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light  (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.

And, in 2 Corinthians 12:9, And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

So, here’s my confession. My boasting of my infirmity. The darkness that I am exposing to the light to allow healing.

I yell. I yell too often at my children. It’s a cycle. I yell. They begin yelling at each other. I notice them yelling at each other. I become frustrated about their yelling at each other. God reveals to me, “They are yelling, because you are yelling at them.” I stop yelling. They stop yelling. We have peace. We have joy. We have light. We have gentleness. Some time passes and I fall back into living in my own strength. I become tired. I become weak. I become overwhelmed.  I yell. They yell. I yell more. I stop. They stop. And on it goes.

yelling-lucy

Growing up in a home where yelling was the main form of communication,  I didn’t even notice my yelling. We yelled in anger. We yelled to be heard. We yelled in enthusiasm. If something needed emphasis, there was one way to show it. You guessed it. We yelled.

Using the excuse of growing up in a home with yelling seemed to work for me for a while.

About 5 years ago, when  my husband and I went to see a counseling pastor, God started opening up the possibility there may be a different way to communicate. The pastor shared with us how God worked in his own family to reveal that all yelling needed to stop. He said that even when dinner was ready, he would no longer be yelling upstairs to their children. He explained to us the level of respect and peace it brings to a family, when someone takes the time to walk over to someone and talk to them rather than yelling from another room.

Really? I thought. I can’t even yell, “Dinner is ready!’? Or, “It’s time go!”?

The thing is, is that yelling from one room to the next, just to be heard  and save my steps, sets up a pattern of yelling. I yell to them, they yell back. Next thing you know, we are all yelling. Okay, okay, I get it. Even that yelling, needs to stop.

I become fed up with this pattern…I yell. They yell. I yell more. I stop. They stop. I start again. They start again. On and on. 

So, I resolve to stop yelling. I resolve to talk calmly. I resolve to have a peaceful home.

Every part of the above plan, puts me first…I, I, I. So, MY plan fails…every time. It’s only when I look at what the Lord wants me to put off and how His Spirit wants to fill and lead me, that I see any progress.

Colossians 3:8-10 says, But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.  Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. 

The old patterns are put off.

The new man reigns.

My knowledge is renewed.

He is awakening me to His word which teaches me and renews me.

His Spirit is taking His word from my head to my heart.

I leave me behind and the result is the combination of His Spirit and His word washing over me, creating in me,

A Clean Heart.

create-in-me

 

 

 

3 thoughts on “Confession

  1. Confession IS healing. You find out you are not alone and it is healing to you AND others as God shines His light on our sin. One of my biggest discussion-generating posts on Facebook was about my struggle with cussing. I have many other faults…yelling and complaining are others. God is faithful to complete the work He began in us. Thank you for sharing your struggles! Praying for ya! Love you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A big shout out for this post! It was great. Oops, guess that would be yelling, lol! I especially enjoyed that bit about how going to where the person is to call them is a form of respect. Never thought about it before, but it’s true. I’ll be working on that! Unless of course I find another scorpion in the shower. You better believe I yelled loud and clear. And would do so again! And it sure did bring my husband on the run. But here’s to upping our levels of respect, and lowering voice levels!!

    Liked by 1 person

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