“You can run,” my doctor replied.
You could have heard a pin drop in the silent room as I turned and stared wide-eyed at him. Was he even listening at all? I had just explained to him that most days I couldn’t get up from the couch without my heart racing and everything turning black. I explain those symptoms and he gives me permission to run?
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 ESV
The Isaiah verse has been precious to me for some time now. Every couple of years God reveals more of the verse for me. When the doctor said to me, “you can run”, I just marveled. Honestly, I am marveled at his stupidity! But I also marveled that maybe one day running would be possible.
That day is here. I have been doing what I can since my kidney transplant in December 2018. Beginning with very short walks and building up. But each day is different. Some days I sit. Some days I lay down. Some days I walk. And now some days I jog.
It is seriously just a jog. Not a run. And it doesn’t last long. But it is a step above walking. And it feels marvelous.
As a kid, I loved to run. I played all the sports and loved the feeling of working hard and pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion.
Chronic disease stole that from me for a long time. I’ve never given up exercising and I’ve just always done what I can.
This side of heaven, there are times when I just stagger along on a good day. Other days I am paralyzed by pain, fear, or worldly cares. And sometimes I have days where I can jog.
It’s so hard to wait on the Lord. It was especially hard when a medical professional was looking at me telling me I can run and I knew that wasn’t possible. The Lord wanted me to wait. He wanted me to rest. He had and still has so much for me to learn.
The Isaiah verse tells me to wait on the Lord to renew my strength.
I will wait on you, Lord. And as I wait, some days I will walk and some days I will run.
And one day I will soar.